Heero's Almighty Rules Of Parenting
by Kiken Yuy
Summary: Have you ever wondered what Heero would be like as a father? Well you're about to find out! Beware:Heero's a strict one, that he is!


One night I was pondering the possiblity of children, well.......Heero's children.....don't be getting any ideas,  
  
I'm happily single and childless XP  
  
Prepare yourselves, HEERO HAS A DAUGHTER!!!  
  
Acknowledgements: A special thanks to Seraph who gave me the inspiration to write this with her hilarious fic, Heero's Rules Of Dating. Gracias amiga!!  
  
Disclaimer: I could never own GW. I'm too inferrior to lay claim on anything with that copywritten kick. Sad, isn't it?  
  
If you want it, you can have it, just mail me at boomchicks@dbzmail.com  
  
An~~nd, I think that's about it, enjoy (^.^)  
  
*~!~ Heero's Almighty Rules Of Parenting ~!~*  
  
To my wonderful daughter, I have left you a list of rules that I'd appreciate if you read.  
  
Rule One: Affirm that I am always right!  
  
Rule Two: If I'm wrong, see Rule One.  
  
Rule Three: In this house, I am God! If you fail to obey my orders, say hello to boarding school!!  
  
Rule Four: When I'm gone, Duo will be here to look after you. You must listen to him at all times. He's the Big Kahuana when I'm not home so what he says, you better do. He is keeping a record of your progress.  
  
Rule Five: I promise not embaress you in front of your friends with riveting stories of your infancies as long as you do not blast that god- aweful music of yours in the middle of the night.  
  
Rule Six: I will read you bedtime stories, but I will not, repeat, WILL NOT sing you lullabyes. It's not that my voice sounds like a donkey gagging on a lawnmower but it's just not my forte. Let's leave it at that before we get into any self-estem issues.......*ahem*  
  
Rule Seven: You may wear whatever you want, so long as I do not see any cleavage, stomache, legs, arms, or neck. You might think this limits your choices, but I assure you, there's plenty of turtle-necks and bluejeans to go around.  
  
Rule Eight: About your curfew, you may stay out as late as your heart desires, but know this, you will be grounded if you're caught sneeking into the house any time after 8:00 P.M. Early, yes, all the more time to do repairs on Zero!  
  
Rule Nine: I do not allow drugs in this household. They are sick and discusting. You are going to be a grade A Gundam pilot and I do not need any disfunctional lungs slowing down your training. But y'know, a couple shots of tequila never hurts anyone ^-~  
  
Rule Ten: Now I'm sure sometime in your life, you're going to be begging me for a tattoo. I don't want any perminent ink embedded in your beautiful skin, so no, you can't get one. But if you choose to anyway, I will remind you of this rule and remove it myself.  
  
Rule Eleven: I know that it is considered trendy to get parts of your body peirced. Well, if you want something peirced, just ask me and I'll be happy to oblige. But nothing near the eyes, nose, lips, chin, bellybutton, or bra. Understood?  
  
Rule Twelve: There comes a time in everyone's life when they find someone they truly love. In other words, dating. Now I'm only looking out for you when I say that you may not date anyone with an IQ lower than room temperature, that wears baggy pants, baggy shirts, jewelry, or that wears their cap backwords. They can't have too much hair gel, or too little. I will have to look them over when they arrive to pick you up. I must interview them and they've got to pass a test before I let you go out with them. And if they find out about Zero, then you will be forced to breakup with them. It's for your own good, you see.  
  
Rule Thirteen: As for education, I'm confident that I have raised a brilliant young lady and I know you will do well in school. If you proove my theory right, you will be rewarded with ice cream, and a cruise around the planet in Zero. If you don't, you can be looking forward to a week in your room with no ice cream and no laptop.......well you can keep your laptop, I know how much it means to you. Just give the best dad of the year award to yours truly ^^  
  
Rule Fourteen: If you don't like my rules, then act now, move out, get a job, pay your bills, and do it while you still have your dignity! This world is a cruel and terrible place. There's muggers, stalkers, and evil tax collectors out there just waiting for you to cross their path. I hope you know self defense. Oh, and don't forget, DADDY LOVES YOU!!  
  
*~!~ Finito ~!~*  
  
Eheheheh, hope you liked it^^  
  
Feel free to press the little SUBMIT A REVIEW button and tell me what you think =P 


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